“The art is shit, but the cheese plate was amazing”.
The first and last anti-art conference was held yesterday, three clicks left from the Wailing Wall, between a mosque and a half-way house. Leon Redbone and Farid El-Atrache headlined the anarchist protest that followed. (What wall were we protesting against?)
“An atomic bomb on Jerusalem would solve a lot”, a radical-pacifist with white shorts and a Hawaiian shirt shouts from the top of Moria Mountain.
Halal butchers are barbecuing New Orleans style near the Dead Sea (no chance of a flood) Near Sodom and Gomorra the tourist bus is stuck. A crafty American poses with a pillar of salt. Down to Jericho, seven times around and ride into the casino. African pilgrims zoom down River Jordan with on black inner tubes (Don’t worry, Bono will sort it out).
The Pope mobile is held at the Sinai border for attempting to smuggle the divine word and menthol cigarettes.
“Masada will not fall a second time” the awning sign for the new timeshare hotel is flapping in the Judain desert wind. Bedouins zip by driving 85’ Subaru Stations (the real ship of the desert).
Peter O’Toole is sun bathing, lying on the salty sea, reading Fisk’s column.
A New toll road is has been built, Via Della Rosa Via Mea Shearim, left on Al-Aqsa ending at the Baha’i Temple, overlooking the harbor where 5,000 sailors are getting off the boat and into an old hooker’s lap.
Patroness ladies are eating Humus made by Yeshiva boys, complaining that it tastes too sweet (It ain’t Gefilte Fish, Mendel!)
The Sudanese dish washers play the sumsumia behind the public toilets (they know how to treat sea urchin stings)
The Russian Boyars are melting in the sun. They transform into an abstract expressionism of their former selves. One of them is named Stalingrad. He owns some benches in Tel Aviv.
Jaffa’s clock tower is two hours ahead, it is almost time for Shacharit, or that what I think the muezzin is saying.
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