How is FascistArt Done? (1st Manifesto)

-        Treat light matters gravely, and grave matters lightly

-        Always use your left hand to write and paint; unless you are left handed, which in that case you will do the opposite

-        1, 2, 3!

-        Accept the un-accepted: invite the clergyman to your son's birthday

-        Embrace the un-embraceable (hug a bureaucrat, hi-five a traffic warden, caress a civil servant)

-        Be the devil's advocate (and charge him a bundle)

-        In a public toilet; instead of shyness and embracement, be loud and extraverted.

-        Attain a doctorate by writing your thesis on hot air balloon operators

-        Favor showing works from pretty women rather than brooding unshaved painters

-        Let your rabbi bless the unity of your nephew and his komodo dragon

-        Hold exhibitions on top floors of building sites

-        Invite the art critic to read his critique at the beginning of the show; the worse it is the better.

-        Use cheap paint. You are not Rothschild; or Gauguin

-        Invite a banana republic politician or diplomat to give you exhibition an air of dignity.

-        Hire a big breasted secretary to dictate your thoughts

However remember: Fascistart is not done. It is. It was. It's Belgian waffles! 



                                                                       








c 2010 Ethan Nechin

Immigrante Manifesto/E Nechin

• I have decided to be silent no more. That is why I bought a loud typewriter.

• I sat down to write the next great American novel, but then I realized I was Russian

• I sat down to write a Russian masterpiece, but then I realized I wasn't suicidal

• I bought a typewriter because I am a romantic. It's a pity however that I need to use the computer spell check in every sentence I write.

• I want to write as well as Kafka. I just don't want to turn into a bug.

• I want to be influential as Marx. The only problem is I can't grow a beard.

• I write to reach catharsis…at least that's what my analyst says.

• I love bob Dylan, I just can't stand his voice.

• I would have wanted to be born black. I just wouldn't want to go through the hardships.

• I would like to be a freedom fighter. I just don't want to get killed.

• I want to be a trend setter. I just don't want to be an outsider.

• I advocate the redistribution of wealth. The only condition is that it will start with me.

• I want to direct a movie. The only problem is I don't like giving out orders.

• I love foreign movies. The only thing I don’t have patience is reading the subtitles.

• I would like to be a stand up comedian. The only problem is I can't tell a joke.

• I would like to teach a in the university. I just don't want to study ten years before I start.

• I write to attract women. Well, that's it. That's the whole point.

• I sat down to write the next great novel but then I realized I don't have anything to write about.